Gifted

I was gifted. Never tested for it, but I could tell myself I was smart.

I never performed well in school; I often fell behind in some subjects. Excepting a few intervals of brilliant classwork, I was generally an average student at best. But walking to and from grade school, through the high school parking lot, I could tell that in my own way, I was very very smart. I would tell myself about it. I just wasn't smart enough to figure out in what way. Or what to do about it.

I was bored through most of public school. By junior high, I forgot all about being smart somehow. I thought I was just dumb. But I wasn't; I was bored. When I'm bored, I do not perform well at all. Not at all. Worse than most. Public school was not the only institution where I failed to realize my potential because of this. Working for the Navy was the same old story. There simply was no challenge for my talents to sink their teeth into. The only challenge, and it proved too great for me, was to get interested in tedium and senselessness.

I have had family members and bosses from different groups, situations and companies tell me I'm the most imaginative or creative kid or engineer they have known. Meanwhile, I was getting a flunk in school or held back from a raise or promotion - even put on probation not infrequently.

What's my point? Don't have one, not today. This blog is simply about memories and colors. Gifted? You bet. I have been given much and have enjoyed it immensely. My favorite gift, though I have not always fostered it, is the love I feel toward the people I have known. And I love colors. Truly, the best things in life are free in terms of money. But not in terms of cultivation.